• jamesdavenport86

Life's short and deaths an un-discriminatory Bastard!!!!

Updated: Aug 20, 2017


I've been meaning to write a blog recently about what it is I actually do, as I've been asked a lot since what was both my last and ironically first post.


However, no ones really gives a WHOOOT about that, myself included - although it may well be something I come back to it, as some of it is pretty funny!!! 😂😂😂.  


To be honest though and contrary to the above, I felt compelled to write something with just a "little" more depth, having heard a number of sad bits of news recently!!!!


I think the human psyche is such an interesting and intriguing thing and I find it fascinating how its moulded and shaped in our youth, as children and as infants. 


I sent a very dear friend of mine a message along these lines recently, after she sadly lost a friend to cancer, a young, popular lad, with his life at his finger tips.  I said it's funny how when you're younger and at school, you talk about age like, “I don't care if you're 6 months older than me, because you're going to die 6 months before me!!!”


Genuinely, I believe that to a degree we carry this mind set on with us into later life, where its instilled further into us, by the fact we're always chasing the next goal, whether 6th form, college, uni, masters, a job, a better job, a career, always working to the illusive end goal.  Which is what? A pension?  When we can finally sit back, relax and “enjoy our lives”!  But who the funk say’s we're EVER going to make it that far?  


Tomorrow is not a guarantee or a promise and I think it's far too easy to assume it is, after all, how many tomorrows have you already had?  If you’re 30, that’s approximately 10,956.5 tomorrows.  However, not everybody has a tomorrow!!!!


I nearly didn't....


Chatting to two good friends recently, they told me how one had been diagnosed with cancer and had a procedure to have it removed, but was told they’d found more and that she would need a further operation.  Only to find out later, she’d been given the wrong information and was actually then given the all clear!!! 


When I was reading through my mates message it kept building and building in severity and sadness, until I got to the end and read that it had been a mistake, my tears of sadness soon turned into relief and jubilation, I was genuinely over the moon for them and so, so, sooo chuffed and relieved!!!! 


I actually said the only good thing you can take from this, is the realisation that life is short and to embrace your new found vigour and appreciation for it and the things you hold dear.


I said similar after my friends, friend, had lost his battle with cancer.   There is never, anything positive that comes from death, other than the fact it makes us all, STOP, re-address, re-evaluate and take stock of our own lives, our own happiness, our friendships and our family.  Making us appreciate each and everyone of them that little bit more, but with time and as with anything else, our appreciation diminishes as our complacency gradually returns. 


In my last post I wrote how I’d sadly lost my grandad shortly after my 30th birthday, however, what I didn't write about, was the fact that not long after that, one of the Gremlins (my Uni rugby team), a friend and a lad I used to coach rugby to, sadly passed away after a car accident, aged just 25!  Now I'm not trying to compare one death to another, however it certainly made coming to terms with my Grandads death easier, he got to see 85 years, his golden wedding anniversary, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren - I dare say, an accomplishment not many of us today will achieve.


My friend, who was one of the friendliest and happiest lads you could have wished to have met, didn’t make old bones and his life was cut tragically short - my thoughts and prayers are with him, his family, all of his friends and all of the lives he touched in his short time here!!!! 


It’s often easier said than done, but I think its extremely important that we celebrate the life, rather than mourn the death, (personally I don’t want a black somber occasion, I want bright colours, fancy dress and laughter - FYI). 


We certainly celebrated Jesus life!!!!  Jesus, being the friend in question, I’ve no idea where Jesus came from but it was always Jesus or Jebs!  Although, I am of the understanding his family called him Chris.  I kept chuckling to myself on the train up to Northampton, for the Gremlins Wake.  There we were, around Easter, drinking, all relatively somberly, loudly reminiscing about Jesus and how sad his passing was, thinking, anyone who's listening to this, is either going to think we're devoutley religious, or completely off our rockers, or both!!! - Either way, RIP Jesus, thinking of you big man!!!!


So what am I saying????  I’m saying that life's bloody short and that deaths an undiscriminatory bastard!!!  Go out there and do something you love, with the ones you love, or for the ones you love.

 

I appreciate not everyones as stupid as me, or in as fortunate a position, that they can hop on a bike and bugger off.  However, I am not writing this from that man's perspective, I’m writing this from the perspective of a man who nearly died and joined the infamous 27 club!



I’m saying, I challenge you to do something for YOU!!!!  Do something you’ve always wanted to, or that scares you, or something your passionate about, start learning the language or the instrument you’ve always wanted too, sign up to the marathon you’ve been to scared, or to unfit to do.  I challenge you to do something with or for the family, book that camping trip, plan an adventure, take the time to make your nephews a pirate adventure map - make lasting memories, not money!!!!!



I’m saying write your own BUCKET LIST , write a family BUCKET LIST, set some time aside for yourself, for the family and start ticking things off!  Get outside more, spend less, stress less and live more!!!


I’m saying tell loved ones how you feel, tell friends how you feel, that you appreciate them or that you miss them, settle disagreements, settle arguments, never harbour grudges, love whole heartedly and enjoy every moment, because no one knows how many more moments you’ll have, I wonder if we would live our lives differently if we did? Interesting thought!!!!

Brandon Lee's grave stone and a quote from 'The Sheltering Sky'


Anyway, thats me outtie, however, to all my friends, all my family and any one I’ve met along the way, shared a drink, a moment, a smile, a laugh or anything else with, know that I love and appreciate you whole heartedly, because you’ve made me who I am today!  Big up and big love to you all!!!!!! X



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